I'm sick and tired of waiting

For that day that will never come,

For that kiss that you once promised,

For those love songs I'll never hum.

I'm sick and tired of dreaming

The same dream every night;

The one where I sleep as you hold me,

Then I wake up, I'm alone, and I cry.

I'm sick and tired of playing

Your stupid, childish games.

Believe it or not, I'm worth more than that.

For once, I won't take the pain.

A single memory

That you regret

Could lead you to have

A lifetime of sorrow

A single feeling of remorse

Could lead you to feel

That there is no tomorrow

So never regret something

That once made you smile.

Because a tear

Could drag you down 6 feet

But a laugh

Will lift you up a mile

I'm tired of being

Who they want me to be

By living for them, 

I've died to me.

I lost my heart

When I cried a lake of tears.

My soul was shattered 

When I faced my fears

Of losing those

that mattered most.

Now I walk through the world as a ghost,

Unseen by eyes

Once filled with love.

Now I wish upon the stars above

All that I long for

Is to be seen once again.

Not as who I'm not

But for who I've always been.

Losing you

Was like a renaissance.

I once was in love,

But your goodbye

Was my wake-up call.

I used to think that if you left me

I would die inside,

And part of me did.

But the part that awakened

Is so much stronger

Than the part that you left shattered

In the wake of your goodbye.

Deep inside my heart is a place where

I still want you to hold me,

Or tell me that you love me.

But that place in my heart

Is nothing more than a dark hole.

The missing piece is the one

That I gave to you.

And you accepted it.

Then you left me.

But you left me

With the realization

That I don't need you anymore.

I asked to be your best friend.

You said that position was filled.

I tried to tell you about my life.

You were too busy to listen.

Your hugs were sweet,

Your kisses were sweeter,

But those are not what I needed.

I need someone who loves me

Unconditionally,

Faults and all,

And you are not that someone.

Loving you showed me

That forever isn't always forever,

"I love you" doesnt always come from the heart,

And goodbye can be

A renaissance

Your love was more beautiful

Than any of my dreams

Ever could have been.

When you held me in your arms

All of my troubles disappeared

And I knew that love meant forever

I touched your hands

And floated into the clouds

You kissed me

And I floated all the way to Heaven

But now I am afraid

That I will never again

Know the kind of love

You showed me

Since you told me goodbye

I have missed you more

Than anyone or anything before

Love led to loss

And loss killed me inside

But time will revive me

This pain will fade

And

One day

I WILL love again

 

 

Beautiful

are his eyes.

Much like his world used to be.

Look past the mask

and into his heart,

and then you truly will see

his dark, mysterious soul.

Look into his past,

and the truth shall arise.

Where his heart should be

there is a hole.

So much pain in his past,

so much hatred and death.

His heart has been crushed

too many times.

He will never know love,

for around him is a wall

that no one is willing to climb.

Once a beautiful child,

now a tortured young man;

innocent and strong-willed no more.

A quiet, fragile soul,

desperate to know love:

nineteen years old

and a veteran of war.

I would give my life

to take back those words

that caused you so much pain.

My last words would be

"i love you, Chris,

and that will never change"

I would do anything

to go back and erase

the biggest mistake of my life.

Because, sweetheart, I swear,

without your love,

my heart cannot survive.....

When I was in 6th grade, almost 5 years ago now, a friend of mine committed suicide. That pain inspired me to write this poem:

 

 

Thirteen years old

His future was planned.

A thought in his head

A belt in his hand.

His mind was made up

No one could stop him.

The belt was now around his throat

The world around him darkened.

His thirteen year old life

Flashed before his eyes.

He quickly realized

He was too young to die.

His sister found him

She screamed for help.

He tried and failed to beg her

To loosen the belt.

The darkness closed around him

He walked into the light.

His short life was then over

He ended it that night.

The next day at school

We were told what he had done

We learned that his mother

Had lost her only son

Too late he had realized

He didn't want to die

He left us, his friends

Without so much as goodbye

 

 

R.I.P.   Tevin

I look into your eyes

And see how you feel.

I touch your hand

Sparks ignite

Were they meet.

We are connected

In so many ways

That cannot be told

With words alone.

Butterflies flutter

In my stomach.

Warmth spreads

From my heart.

When we are together

All of our troubles

Disappear.

Do you remember

The spot in your arms

Where I fit perfectly,

And how it seems

That my fingers

Are meant

To go between yours?

We are meant

To be together

This is true love

Words for the wise

And silence for the ignorant.

Living life in silence

Is not truly living.

The wise know

Beauty, fame, money,

And the ignorant

Never even have a chance.

Sitting in a corner,

Behind a wall,

Waiting for the wall

To be broken down.

The wise

Assume they know better

If life is to go on,

They say,

We, the wise, must rule.

The ignorant

Can never be freed

From their prison

Of not knowing

What they could have,

What they could feel.

If only

The wise

Would know enough

To know to let them

Fly away and be free.

If only

The self proclaimed wise

Could learn to love.

If tomorrow I was

To breathe my last breath

Would I be content

With how today has passed me by?

Or would I be filled with the sorrows

And regrets of my past

And the painful knowledge

That i would never see

The future

That I have forever looked towards?

Would I reminisce the

Beautiful memories

Of my childhood

And the time spent

With those closest to me?

Or drown myself with tears

For the futures of my loved ones

That I would never have?

Forgetting every grudge,

Holding every memory

Dear to my heart.

Spending my last day

In the warm embrace

Of the ones that I love.

Seeing that though my end is near

Others' futures are just beginning.

Using my last breath

To utter the words

I love you.

Would you be there for me now

If I needed a friend

Who would love me

Without limitations?

Because

You once told me

"You are my best friend"

Then you let me down.

You turned away from me and tried to act as if

There had never been anything

Between us.

I knew you loved me, though.

I knew you always had

And i knew you always would.

But how could love

Allow one to act like that?

To break another's heart.

Would you be there for me now

If I needed a shoulder to cry on?

Because Once you were

The one causing the tears

To flow from my eyes

And also from my heart

Little did I know

That I was doing

The same to you

You were the one.

The one I looked up to.

The one I loved more than

Life itself.

And then all of that

Crashed down upon me.

The way I had felt for you

Became a ton of bricks

Weighing on my heart.

I couldn't let you go

Though you tried to walk

Out of my life.

And deep down

I hoped that you

Couldn't have truly forgotten

Our bond.

Now I look back at those days.

The days of agony

The days I spent

Not wanting to do anything

But lay in my room and cry

And I think

"Why should I take you back?"

Why When you caused me so much

Pain and heartbreak

When all I had ever shown you

Was love

Now i understand

Why you tried

To walk out of my life.

I had hurt you in a way

I had never intended:

I loved another boy.

I never saw

That when you said

"I love you"

You meant

"I wish i could hold you in my arms and never let you go"

I never saw

The pain in your eyes

When you saw me

Walking hand in hand

With someone other than you

When all you had dreamt of

Was being the one

To walk with my hand in yours.

I crushed you

But never stopped loving you

You crushed me

But always In the back of your mind

Was the thought of me

And how you felt.

For over a year

We both were torn

Our hearts ripped to shreds

Whenever we were forced

To cross each others paths.

But when more pain hit me

And the boy I had loved

Crushed me

The way I had crushed you,

You were there.

Now I know.

You are my best friend

When I need someone

To love me without limits.

You are a shoulder to cry on

When I feel as if I can't hold the tears in

Any longer.

When life tore us apart

Love brought us back together.

And now

We are looking

Towards the future

Hand in hand.

You are holding me

And I am never letting you go.

Living my life

The way I wanna live it

Me and you, boy,

We're the only ones in it

My own little dream world

I wish I was living In my own little dream world

But that's only my dream world

Cuz reality doesn't always go

The way I want it to

Some people say

There shouldn't be

Me plus you

But if the world were to run

The way it does In my dreams

It would be

You and me

In our own little dream world

There would be

No one to tell us

When to be apart

Don't listen to your friends

Just listen to your heart

Because believe me If you do,

It will be forever me and you

Living in our dream world

Thank you for this gift

That has been left

For my generation

Amongst so many others.

Thank you for leaving

This evil,

Grievous,

Hellish,

Infernal,

Despicable,

Injurious,

Vicious,

Cruel,

Wounding,

Distressing,

Excruciating,

Grueling,

Agonizing,

Painful gift.

Thank you

For this gift that has been given

This gift that has caused

So much heartbreak,

So much death,

So much destruction and grief

To our parents' generation

And to our own.

All i can say now Is thank you

For this gift

That has shown my generation

How not to live;

This devastating gift called WAR

Dim is my sight

For I have seen

Many sins

Muffled is my hearing

For I have heard

Many evils

Dull is my sense of smell

For I have smelled

The scent of death

But strong is my heart

For I have experienced

The wonder of love

I will be here for you

No matter what hardships

You may encounter

I'm a shoulder to cry on

An ear here to listen

And a friend

I'm here to love you

When it seems

As if no one else does

I am your sister

Amidst the goodness

Of the earth there is always

Evil that attempts

To choke the life from the good

And somehow goodness  prevails

She looked into his gorgeous eyes

Eyes as blue as the ocean

And just as deep

And she knew he was

The one for her

 

Her mother called it puppy love

Her father called it infatuation

But she called it

True Love

 

He asked her out

On Valentine's Day

And brought her chocolates

And roses

And he told her

She was the one for him

 

Her mother called it

Puppy love

Her father called it infatuation

But she still called it true love

 

They graduated

Holding hands

And then he asked her

To marry him

 

Her mother

No longer called it

Puppy love

Her Father

No longer called it

Infatuation

And yet she still

Called it

True Love