a hole.

thats how they discrib it but they dont know-no one knows.

its a black hole in my chest and it twists my stomach so i always feel like vomiting.

it plays with my feelings like a child plays with toys not knowing its affects on me.

i can be happy or peaceful or just want to close in on myself and be alone....

alone.

i am always alone even when i am crowded....

i scream in everyones faces my hole but it just bonces off them.

i try so hard to tell them but their blind and deaft,

they cant see my pain and cant hear my cries of sadness.

when it became too much i sat in the cold and waited,

waited for coldness to send me to sleep,

a long peaceful sleep, forever

no more holding my family back

no more me.....

but its so cold

so, so, so cold,

i never fall into that sleep

but i do feel like breaking and ripping and burning.....

but why?

why do i feel so numb when distracted?

why do i cut myself from realitaity?

why?

why am i this way?

why.....