i was walking in the rain , i thought i lost my way

then came a whisper, told me just to wait 

dear i looked back ,saw you running to me 

you came grabbed my hand , looked into my eyes

that moment was all that told me ..........................................................I'M BLESSSED!

i'm blessed ,i'm blessed ,i'm blessed

(dear i dint know before )that

i'm blessed,!i'm blessed!

i'm blessed to have you here with me!

you said i'm your friend , i wont let you go

you said friendship means not to walk alone

you said if destiny wants you to go ,

then  take me with you  ,i will walk with you till this world ends and will be with you till this life ends but not before that  

i'd let you alone!!! not before!! no no!

then was when that moment told me .............................................I'M BLESSED

i'm blessed ,i'm blessed,

(dear i dint know before that)

i'm blessed ,i'm blessed i'm blessed!

i was struck to have , my hands held

i had thought i was alone to walk my way

i saw in your eyes tears for me

i thought i would die that moment because i knew that now ...........................I'm blessed 

i'm blessed, i'm blessed, i'm blessed

Dear i didn't know till that moment that you mean alot to me

that you fill my world , that your meaning for me, that your my blessing and i'm blessed!

FOR you my dear i'm blessed!

for you honey i'm blessed!

(for you aru)

for my best friend ARUSHA

i don't believe 

that i got you

i don't believe ,

that it's really true

i thought good luck was fantasy

i thought whats love was just a dream

but now when i stand here and look at you

i can see

you're my luck you're my love

you're the hope you're the smile

you're  the heart of this very soul

you're the reason of this life 

you're my music you're my world

you're the thought of my mind

you're the reason that i am here

 you're the reason i live.....................

i thought i had a life 

that had no meaning 

and no reason

that was alone with nothing to it

had nothing to gain 

nothing to loose

had nothing to be happy about

had nothing to be sad for

but now when i stand here and look at you 

i see

you bring meaning you bring reason

 you bring soul to this lonely life

you're the gem you're the treasure 

of this life  i care about

you're the heart you're soul

you're the love you're the life. ......................

now i can see what i have 

now i can hope 

 you're the meaning you're the reason

you're heart you're the soul

you're the one that's a life of mine

baby you're my own

baby you're my own!

baby you're my own!

 When I look back I find

The core emptied

I don’t know, to step towards, or, away from this path

To follow or to lead?

To forget or to believe?

I don’t know!

The past calls me!

I can’t wipe my marks behind

They dried in sand

With memories of history

Can’t even go forward

For winds oppose me

You have held my hand for so long

Let it go now

You don’t know what you are holding

It is the past not the present

I won’t go but stay instead

You can’t stay you have to go

Leave me here I will wait for time

When hurdles won’t tear us apart

Your destiny is ahead of time

And mine is, in the past

We can’t be together

For now the time is tearing us apart

Don’t cry for this is not the end

Because our love is not tied

To boundaries or time

I will be here and in your heart

For as long you take my breaths!

 POEM

Walk as far as you can but believe me you wont reach where you are meant to, you will walk and step,

 , but every step you take would become an agony, of and for EVERYTHING!

The patience, with which I write,

Is such a beautiful mask to what I feel inside.

As calm and subtle these words are on paper,

They are as disoriented and disturbed inside.

If I were to lie I think I will write.

If I were to show how happy it is and merry everything

I will write,

With a hand in such pain that my fingers will fight,

Among themselves

And when they won’t, be able to decide,

Which pain to write?

They will mask the paper with an act of lies.

So subtle, so calm, that when they will finish,

The calmness and beauty of my words will fool me too.

To make me believe for moments of a life time,

That happiness and calmness is still,

It is still, left and there.

So that my fingers could find them,

So that my eyes could see them. 

But isn't it ME ,who is to scrutinize,

And isn't it me who is the Knower.

The Knower who is going through and controlling,

What fingers can’t understand and think they can mask.

 Sometimes "Enough" is not that what a person feels.

Sometimes "Limits" is not what a person understands.

The people who inhabit this planet are of utmost interest for stricken observation because of their very contradictory self. It's not what one says about human being's emotional self and nature but it is what one observes of human nature and emotional self. What I have deduced from living the life I have lived learning about people which surround me and my small world are so like a puzzle  .I cant quiet solve this puzzle but I do know it very clearly that when this picture of human nature and emotions , which runs in the empire called LIVING BODY , will be completed ,it will be very hard to understand it ,contemplate it ,translate it ,and, tell others about my invention ,because every piece I have of this puzzle  is so very different so non-connective that it sometimes gives me the impression that I may be at fault ,that I may be holding  different proofs of different mysteries , but believe me its not like that ,the proofs that I hold may appear different and alien but they are not, they are all of the same origin and every piece will lead me to same destiny ,just like any other puzzle whose every piece seems different and nerve racking to oneself whoever dare to put the pieces together.

The point of going into a detailed picturesque of my mind was to tell you the uniqueness and clear-cut difference of one's emotional feelings in its mental state.

Man , Person , Human , Living Organism are all words for one but explain quiet a different meaning  when scrutinized, it's the same with one's behavior in any emotional state of mind and body depending on one's nature .To understand the latter its important to understand the former that is  human nature.

As stated in the beginning:-

                                      "Sometimes "enough" is not what a person feels"

it is not merely a line  because a nature  , emotional circumstances and invisible social ties bind a person to do and say things they might not want and also there are events and moments when a person is so involved in social and emotional ties that he  cannot exactly see what he wants and why and because he cant , he goes  for the exact  opposite and never regrets for his defeat as he thinks his unsuccessful end is because  he was weak or it was fate and therefore he never goes back into the  black doors of the past in his mind to search for answers ,a and the topic closes completely. He does struggles, but not for what he wants, and without knowing it he struggles for new start, new light and again the total opposite of what he really wants and cant quiet understand.

This is what one's nature is and this exactly what emotions are which one faces bravely and drifts his life through several turns for an open sea , and in doing so , many reach destinies they never wanted but still are happy to reach even one, there are some who never reach any destiny and drift back and forth in the storm of life ,while there are very few who do reach there destiny and are extremely happy to achieve it , but out of them some understand what they wanted from their lives and others don’t and feel agitated and incomplete as if they haven't reached their destiny , because they don’t know they have found it already.

This is only a glimpse of onside of human nature .To understand the whole of it , I still need to live , to learn  people, to learn time and to think about feelings which bud inside human bodies and bloom into either a disaster or a destiny requited or unrequited one.

That was about destiny and human nature, but is the matter of destiny and human nature proofs the study and relation of other's life’s aspects with human nature? I don’t think so , explaining and understanding one small part of life to understand human nature does not qualify my study complete because human nature as I said myself is so vey contradictory and thus it will be with other issues of life which a person experiences and understands.

What I have learnt for now is that:-                  

                                                   " No wonder Science ,Art ,Language ,History , Society , Philosophy are subjects hard enough but                                            the hardest is the Human Nature because all these studies may have   an end but not human nature  , it changes with every breath and every human life  on this planet .They change and the human race and their descendents life paths to an unknown future.

God help US to understand US".

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

It was here again in my hand

i dont kow where it go!

it's life they say,it's luck they say,

but what it is i dont know.

when life is harsh on man

he gets the answers of questions untold

i stood there my whole life,

to know what it means to survive

but now when i know what it means

my heart denies to face it any more

the feelings come and the feelings go

time passes but fate never goes

one suffers what one never wants

and when get what one's heart demands ,

there is no will to take the prize

if life has more than one meanings t

han why isn't there more than one ways to find them

why is there only the harsh ways to know them

why are there so many questions

why it's hard to explian what one wants

why it's hard to know what one wants

why the sand  becomes wet again,

when water in the end has to back to it's own life!